Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Warcraft (2016) Official Movie Novelizaton

--INFO--
Based on: Warcraft (2016) Film
Genre: Fantasy_Video Game
Release Date: June 7th, 2016 (film is released 6/10/16)
Screenplay: Charles Leavitt & Duncan Jones
Author: Christie Golden
Publisher: Titan Publishing; MTI edition


Official Cover


Official Synopsis: The peaceful realm of Azeroth stands on the brink of war as its civilization faces a fearsome race of invaders: orc warriors fleeing their dying home to colonize another. As a portal opens to connect the two worlds, one army faces destruction and the other faces extinction. From opposing sides, two heroes are set on a collision course that will decide the fate of their family, their people and their home. So begins a spectacular saga of power and sacrifice in which war has many faces, and everyone fights for something.


This novelization will be a double bonus for me. Not only am I a freak for Novelizations, but this one happens to be written by an author I'm very fond of--Christie Golden. In the summer of 2014, I found pristine, unread copies of the first two novels she ever published. Vampire of the Mists (1991) & Dance of the Dead (1992), both of which are set in the legendary realm of Dungeons & Dragons lore. The woman has a talent for storytelling and has written novels for Star Trek, Star Wars, Starcraft, & several World of Warcraft books as well.

Now I'm not much of a video gamer, and therefore I'm rather ignorant to World of Warcraft games. However, I along with many people out there have at least heard of the franchise, for it has pervaded throughout American pop culture since the mid-2000s. In fact, over 100 million accounts have been created by online gamers.

From my understanding, the franchise  essentially combines Fantasy, Horror, & Science Fiction elements, thereby giving gamers a menagerie of characters to play with--Aliens, Goblins, Humans, Elfs, Witches, Sorcerers, etc.

As for the film, It's been on a long journey on its way to development since 2006. For a span in the early 2010s, Sam Raimi was attached to direct it. By 2013, David Bowie's son Duncan Jones (MOON) joined the project as director and that's when the film's progress gained momentum, appearing on Movie websites sporadically.

Based on a storyline from game designer Chris Metzen (Diablo, Warcraft, Starcraft), the screenplay was written by Charles Leavitt (Bllod Diamond, Seventh Son, In the Heart of the Sea).

*** Expect a review on here at some point in the summer of 2016.***

Thursday, March 31, 2016

Alan Dean Foster writing a book on his Novelization Career!


ADF...waiting for his palmistry results.

The object of my idolatry, Alan Dean Foster, recently announced the completion of his memoir titled: "The Director Should've Shot You", recounting his long tenured career of writing Novelizations.

From Luana to Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015), ADF vows to include all anecdotes and frequently asked questions over the years he has received appertaining to his life as the top novolizationalist.

As of spring 2016, ADF's agency is fishing for a publisher and claims he included covers to each one of his movie tie-ins, with hopes that more pictures are included throughout the book.

I'm overly delighted by this news and will definitely go out of my way to purchase this one. Even though he's been very open and detailed about his past experiences in various interviews, It'll be an immense aide for me to have all this info in one tome. This way I can cram more factoids about his novelizations into future article reviews for everyone to enjoy. I just completed the original Star Wars novelization tonight and hopped onto his website for research, only to discover this wonderful news. I already have drafts for 'Clash of the Titans' and 'Star Wars', and now i'm thinking i should wait until this memoir is released before i publish those articles.

Based on the tentative title, I assume ADF receives more criticism for his adaptations than praise. Knowing how fanboys can be, this isn't too surprising. I myself understand he's put in a difficult situation where he hasn't seen the film and is working off a draft of the screenplay. Therefore, as a fan, you have to create your own canon and choose what to exclude and include in your mind.

Until then, look forward to reviews on The Fog, Halloween III, Re-Animator, and Dragonslayer. Also, I'm dying to procure a copy of April Fool's Day by Jeff Rovin.
 
 

Halloween III: Season of The Witch [1984] - Novelization - Review

Based on: Halloween 3: Season of The Witch (1982)
Genre: Horror_Sci-Fi_Witchcraft_Halloween


The night no one came to the theater.


Backcover Plot: The streets are quiet. Dead quiet as the shadows lengthen and night falls. It's Halloween. Blood-chilling screams pierce the air. Grinning skulls and grotesque shapes lurk in the gathering darkness. It's Halloween. The streets are filling with small cloaked figures. They're just kids, right? The doorbell rings and your flesh creeps. But it's all in fun, isn't it? No. This Halloween is different. It's the last one.



Throughout the novelization, an exorbitant amount of ink is spent in the malaised mind of Dr. Challis. In the beginning, he constantly stresses over his alcoholism, the turbulence of his divorce, and the disconnection he has with his kids. Moreover, the unremitting hype for Halloween this year has him scorning the world everytime that irking jingle rang. No need to get into detail, but the book needlessly expands upon his misfortune to the point of frustration. It almost felt like I was the one paying his child support.
 
It seems as though Challis constanly went over his misery on a daily basis, counting his troubles and woes.  After getting called into the hospital, I was amazed he didn't blow off his head before chapter 3.
 
One additional scene has him shopping for the masks that he eventually gives to his kids; where as in the film, he just shows up and gifts his kids with silver-shamrock knockoff masks, only to have them shun them in favor of the ever popular silver-shamrock ones.

Now that i've read the novelization, I notice the undertone of Challis' aversion to children mirroring that of Conal Cochran. And I only needed Dennis Etchison to hammer it in my head for a series of paragraphs to accomplish this.


'Get me childproof everything.'

Once again, Etchison delivers a savory death-by-fire scene.  I'm, of course, referring to the scene where an android torches himself in the hospital parking lot. It's as though Etchison was born to describe fire and light. NASA needs to attach this guy to a rocket and have him prose the cosmos on a looping voyage. Frankly, It would be much better than the blurry images they provide.

Excerpt Time: "Challis rocked back and shielded his face as the entire car exploded and an enormous mushroom cloud erupted into the night sky. A fire ball rolled heavenward, orange at the center and then deep red, veined with black smoke, seering trees and lighting up the night with the terrible beauty of an unearthly glow." - Jack Martin's Android death scene in parking lot.

One thing Etchison Nails is the jolly, daft attitude of the Kupfer family. Ostensibly, Challis is affable to the bunch. Inside, their annoyance scrapes at the last remaining nerves the Man's got.

After arriving in Santa Mira, Challis' suspicions are on high alert from the start. A lot of small extra info is revealed about the town; a number of businesses are talked about, and how Cochran supports them all. It appears as though Cochran led a massive Irish Exodus to the town, forcing all the locals out of employment and involvement. 

For the last two acts of the story, much of the dialogue is additional or altered. By that, i mean it's additional drivel spoken by the silly clowns that have embarked at ground zero for samhain sacrfices on halloween.

The most noticeable omission from the film was the absence of the autopsy scene in which Challis phones the female doctor in regards to the results. Remember, She was then executed by an android? Yeah, that was expurgated entirey and replaced with a frantic phone call by Challis to his surly ex-wife, warning her of the dangers of the Silver Shamrock masks. She blows him off curtly, calling him a drunk, jealous fool. She was only half right in her claim, though.

Upon busting into the toy factory, Challis stumbles into Cochran's mancave; a tinkerer's paradise as it's described.

Instead of getting background narrative on Cochran, they make him more garrulous in the final act.

In comparison to the nefarious performance of Dan O'Herlihy, this approach diminishes his evil presence. Like i stated before, we're only viewing the story from one perspective--Challis'.

At one point he expresses how his ancient ancestors (Irish Celts) would be astonished by the technical progress he and his team of docile androids have accomplished. He admits they lacked the ability to harness their power.

In Cochran's epic speech revealing his intentions and motives, Cochran has several additional lines, although I think it came off much scarier in the film. He gets pretty brash when he maligns humans and the christian religion. When Challis inquires about which Pagan God Cochran worships, he even directly profanes Jesus!

So much of the dialogue is altered (slightly) throughout his polemic on the blasphemy of the contemporary Halloween. Also, he mocks mankind's inability to understand the rudimentary workings of their own anatomy.

Here's a good one: When Challis asks him why he's targeting the children, Cochran tells him it's because they are less defiant, wretched, and come out of the dirtiest part of women

Finally, a gray suit is present, three masks in hand, for Cochran to choose a skull mask.

Jumping to the finale, Challis and Ellie escape the exploding factory just in time. Challis cogitates on the magnitude of the situation, knowing that the ancient evil they had just destroyed was only one manifestation of evil. Knowing that Evil will endure forever in many forms for many Halloweens to come.

Overall, I was disappointed with the narrow-sighted narration of the novel. It seems as though Etchison was instructed by John Carpenter to not expand upon Cochran's origins or background. Due to its pagan subject matter, Halloween III: SOTW happens to be one of my favorite horror films of all-time. In the end, the film is far superior to the novelization.


Screenplay: Tommy Lee Wallace (Nigel Kneal & John Carpenter)
Author: Jack Martin (AKA Dennis Etchison)
Release Date: October 1st, 1984
...
My Rating: B+


Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Cathy's Curse (1977) Original Novelization - Prologue


Cathy's Curse: Eyes of Jade

Original Adaptation by J.B. Midura

Based on: Cathy's Curse (1977) film
 
 

Prologue:

December 1947 – Westmount, Quebec

Veering around the chain link entrance bend at fleeting speed, dark silhouettes formed into articulately designed mason manors in the bright beam of a red locomotive's headlights. The motor slowed down as it tore through a streaming sheet of misty drizzle flowing from the street lamp's yellow cone. Tiny newborn zephyrs swirled under the lamp's shaft, yet the sparkling drizzle was invisible in the darkness beyond.

The car's tires came to a skidding halt at a stately home, breaking the neighborhood's salubrious silence.

Westmount, a thriving suburb of Montreal, had been inhabited since the earliest days of the French colonial settlers' migration in the middle of the seventeenth century. By the twentieth century, the area had progressed into an opulent enclave for Anglophone businessmen.

A dusting of crystallized snow rested on the rocky entrance way of the Gimble manner, glistening on the trail . Before the engine's pistons could cease, Mr. Gimble, dressed in a brown suit and tie, with a thick mustache that commanded dignity, rushed hastily upon the porch of his posh residence. He over gripped the doorknob with savage force, aggressively twisting and squeezing it.

In an anxious fury, he burst into the foyer, not even bothering to shut the door behind him. It slammed up against an empty coat rack, incurring a transient wobble. "Joanne! Joanne?" He shouted, eyes searching around for any sign of human activity. The lights were fully shining about the house. Still, he felt the dark despair that filled the place. The silence hemorrhaged the senses into fraught and warped vibes. Mrs. Gimble's perfume was largely absent, though it still lingered in the air—sweet and tangy.

Coming from upstairs, he heard the faint whimpers of a dejected wail. He hurried his way up the staircase, hand gripping the oak railing, ascending past an array of oil paintings and formal family portraits in black and white. The painted green pastures and smiling faces were a drastic contrast to the grave paroxysm of Mr. Gimble.

He swung open the door to his daughter Laura's room, knelt down at the edge of the bed, and consoled his saddened child. "Where's your mother and your brother?" He asked calmly, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Mommy's gone. She's taken George with her," Laura murmured, clutching a tattered doll.

He stood up immediately. "Your mother's a bitch!" Mr. Gimble asserted, sternly emphasizing the insult. "She'll pay for what she did to you." He snatched up Laura's hand and they exited the home, leaving the house as it was.

Luckily, conveniently, inexplicably, Laura had a hold of her coat, along with her rag doll. Ever since her mom had gifted it to her for Christmas days earlier, the bizarre happenings effects on her and the house.

Horridly tattered, the doll's eyes were stitched shut. Supposedly, Mrs. Gimble had purchased the doll at a Gypsy roadside sale. On a vile quest to find the most hideous gift imaginable, she'd rummaged through a heap of threaded fodder until she stumbled upon the foulest thing available.

She'd ignored the decrepit old lady's incoherent grumbles, curtly waving the gypsy woman off. Spending only pennies, she still felt it to be a waste of money. Laura was Mr. Gimble's most cherished asset. Scarring his baby girl's mind indirectly was a cunning tactic, she had thought.

But she'd thought wrong. Horribly wrong!

The horrors harbored in that doll were as uncontrollable and perilous as a Wizard's wand in the hands of a simpleton. The curse had empowered Laura with a fiendish will, wreaking terror and malevolent dominance over anyone in its range. Its power flourished wherever it was welcomed.

Infuriated, Mr. Gimble had sensed the strong urgency to rush home that evening after Mrs. Gimble's telephone tirade 20 minutes earlier. The threats of leaving the two of them behind and bolting with their youngest kid, George, felt real this time. The holiday tension had boiled in the household until its exploding point.

Mr. Gimble was, for the most part, oblivious to the emotional drama in the household and the severity of how wretched his marriage had become. Renowned as a shrewd and stern businessman, he never tolerated dissension in the house, never once left work to attend a family crisis until now.

Strapping the belt over her scarlet dress, Mr. Gimble tucked Laura into the passenger seat of his apple-red Plymouth He'd grabbed nothing to shelter him from the weather, for his rage-scorched blood heated him thoroughly. With a swift click, the engines roared to life and the headlights penetrated the eerie darkness ahead. Mr. Gimble gripped the wheel hard, his brown eyes deciphering the night beyond him.

Chilling organ music came from the car speakers, amplifying the stress of the moment. The windshield wipers whipped from side to side, slashing away glossy snow. It assailed from the dark sky, thick and heavy. The further they drove, the harder it got.

Laura propped herself up to get a read on her Dad's mood, as well as a read on the evening's cold, tempestuous mood. Their neighborhood was well behind them now, a small blob of yellow dots in the rear view window.

Suddenly, out of some ethereal realm, an albino Rabbit pranced across the blacktop. Mr. Gimble, knowing the extreme rarity of these wondrous creatures, swerved frantically around it in an attempt to preserve their posterity, clipping a snow bank. The roadside castle of ice crumbled like the walls of Jericho. Laura flashed a terrifying expression at her father, her heart thumping. Shock choked her scream, paralyzing her fright.

Snow camouflaged the Rabbit's pure white fur, but its soft tracks visibly dotted up the hill.

He jerked the wheel back across the slippery street, skidding wildly into a snow-crusted ravine. In his panic, he had over corrected the vehicle. The heavy metal was crunched into the frozen ground, its grill crushed inward.

Tendrils of black smoke rose from the cracked engine, a precursor to combustion.

Orange flames began to gush from underneath the crumpled hood, hissing in the icy air. Mr. Gimble, unconscious, was hunched over the steering wheel, obstructing their escape. The sound of crackling flames and agonizing shrieks resonated over and over, seething, sizzling inside. Trapped!

“ Help, Daddy, open the door,” Laura cried out, beseeching him to locate his bravery.

But her dire weeps went unheeded.

Mr. Gimble's skin sprouted revolting pits of caustic flesh about his neck and face, cherry color, the fire quickly charring his bones to iron black. Laura's teary eyes were extinguished by the rapid spike of incinerator-like temperatures as she reached out at the morbid rictus of Mr. Gimble's glowing skull. She struggled against her dooming fate until her aqueous humors went as dry as the sands of Egypt. Her bright red dress darkened to crimson, then black ash.

The car was swallowed up by scorching flames and smothered by blackening smoke. Metal ripped and contorted, pinballing bolts underneath the bent hood. The sound grew to an excruciating decibel.

Along the hillside, the albino rabbit witnessed the roadside pyre that it had engendered, its sanguine eyes reflecting the cavorting blaze. With grace, the divine creature hopped up the embankment and into the labyrinth of a shadowy forest, a forever panorama stretching beyond optical limits. The rabbit zagged through the towering Junipers, which stood like imposing Kremlins, contoured by the silver moon hovering behind.


Stay tuned for Chapter 1 coming soon!!!

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Dick Tracy (1990) Novelization - Review

Based On: Dick Tracy (1990) Film
Published: May 1st, 1990 (one month before Film's release)

Author:  Max Allan Collins


Shadow of a tough guy.

To me, the film was a saturday morning favorite of mine growing up i the '90s. My dad had recorded Batman (1989) and this film on the same VHS. After The Joker had fallen to his doom, the tape would roll over to the start of Dick Tracy for an epic double feature. Rewatching it in 2015, I feel the film still holds up as a clever and stylish feature. Plus, the ensemble cast of eccentric Gangsters was an impressive array of talent for the era.

Like The Dark Knight Novelization, adaptation duties went to a writer who was already familiar with the character--Max Allan Collins. His reputation as a Crime Writer is as prolific as any, having contributed to comic books, dozens of novels, an assortment of established series, and over twenty novelizations: Waterworld (1995), Air Force One (1997), U-571 (2000), G.I. Joe Rise of Cobra (2009).

In 1977, Collins replaced Chester Gould, the comic strip's creator, as the lead writer of the Dick Tracy strip after his retirement. As a fanatic of the comic since his childhood, Collins restored the tone of the series to its original crime concept, purging out Science Fiction elements. The redux edition brought back original golden-era characters that had long been absent. In addition to the novelization, Collins also wrote two follow-up novels--Dick Tracy Goes to War and Dick Tracy Meets His Match--before leaving the character in 1992.




Because of the vast amount of characters in the film and the plethora of writers working on the script, a number of aspects were altered in the movie tie-in--including Junior's role, the impact and mystery of Blank, the actions of Tracy, and more. The screenplay itself went through substantial rewrites for over a decade as Warren Beatty first began to orchestrate a film adaptation back in the mid-'70s.

The entire vibe of the novelization divulges a darker edge to it than the gaudy, comical film version. This is usually what I covet from an adaptation and Collins infuses a gritty tone that kept me engaged throughout. The prose is solid but not fantastic. The peculiar characters is what makes the series standout from other Crime Comics: Lips, Mumbles, Pruneface, Flattop, Big Boy.

You know, it's only a matter of time before a Dick Tracy reboot is announced as the next comic book revival, but i don't see them ever eclipsing this garish canvas. It may not be a great film, but the performances are make-up effects were well executed. Nowadays, they drain most comic book franchises of their iridescent colors. I understand bright colors don't transition well to live-action (ala, Schumacher's Batman films), yet Dick Tracy was the most successful at capturing the imagery of the comics.

If you ever go on a Dick Tracy binge, make this novelization a must to check out. It can usually be found floating around ebay for less than $10 USA. Even though it has its share of monotonous moments, there's a bevy of added tidbits and an alternate ending to look forward to.

Overall:  B-

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Halloween II (1981) Novelization (By Jack Martin) - Review

Based On: Halloween II (1981) Film - Sequel to Halloween (1978)
Screenplay: John Carpenter & Debra Hill
Author: Jack Martin (Dennis Etchison)
Release Date: November 1st, 1981
Pages: 256
My Rating: A-

                                                                     

"It was that time of year when the days are short and the shadows are long, when the earth tilts still further on its axis and the seasons hang suspended between autumn and winter."
                                                             - Opening line of prologue.

From the opening, Dennis Etchison thrusts the reader ino the world of Halloween (AKA Samhain). The author excels at illustrating the pageantry and atmosphere of that dark, murderous night in Haddonfield in 1978.

For the most part, the novel adheres closely to the plot and dialogue of the film, but tune-in as I expound on the additional info and scenes that were crammed inside this adaptation to intensify the mayhem.

Just like in the film, a brief recap of the ending to Halloween is included early on. After firing six bullets into the Shape,  Loomis discovers he has fled the scene, back into the dark streets of Haddonfield.

Throughout the book, Etchison refers to Michael Myers' as The Shape. We never get to hear his thoughts, but he's extremely creepy and perpetually lurking in the darkest shadows of most every scene. In fact, there isn't much introspection into any of the characters' thoughts, save for the traumatic episodes that jolt Laurie throughout.

The death scenes are painted graphically with a macabre, creative hand. You can even argue that more blood saturates the pages of this haunting tome than the first two films combined. But we must remember that the original film features only a modicum of gore in Its death scenes. Each kill is elaborately described to crave gore-fiends, and you can tell Etchison had fun writing them.

By far, the most riveting scenes involve a panicky Dr. Loomis roaming the bleak streets amid hideous glowing Jack-'o-Lanterns. Trick-r-Treaters and other lively denizens of Haddonfield flesh-out the authenticity of the holiday, as they trek the iridescent lawns blanketed by candy wrappers and withered leaves.

The longest additional scene has a female reporter sent on assignment to Haddonfield to cover the murders and try and get an interview with Laurie Strode. On her way to Haddonfield Hospital, she fell into a series of mishaps--pulled over by the cops, flat-tire incident, and sexually harrassed by a hick on the side of the road. After the series of ill-fickled fortune, she incurs her own death by lifting up a sheet in her trunk. Myers slashed her to death before hijacking her car to drive the rest of the way to the hospital. Logically, this scene doesn't make much sense and is ultimately extraneous to the story, so i can see why it was expunged from the film. The woman came from rather far away and Myers was already stalking between bare shrubs and moldering pumpkins in Haddonfield

Personally, I think the set of hospital characters in the story are bovine and weak. By creating a suspensful and dark tone in the hospital, Etchison still keeps the reader engrossed. Unfortunately, a gigantic chunk of the script takes place there, neglecting Loomis' hunt while doing so. The Bud character is made even more obnoxious and oafish in the book.

Early on in a flashback, a few paragraphs are dedicated to a trio of boys--Richie, Keith, and Lonnie--partaking in pranks late into the night. While Loomis is skulking in the bushes, Lonnie tries to break into the old Myers house. Loomis scares the boys away. Loomis then thought about Halloween and why Michael chose this night. He knew the bloodlust addiction of Myers was that of an ancient pagan curse wreaked upon his soul epochs ago in the age of Celtic Druids and reverence for nature. Loomis is confident he can thwart 'The Lord of Samhain' because his vessel is that of a mortal human. He even quotes a Shakespearean phrase: 'If you cut him, does he not bleed?' -- while fingering the cold metal of his pistol. Also, he claims Michael's father dwells in Hell, and vows to repress The Shape's terror spree.

The ONLY enthralling shred of Laurie Strode's inner misery occured about 85% of the way through the book. Emotionally, Laurie's mind ventures way back to a time when she was four years old. While the Strode's babysat her, her parents had visited Michael that day.

 I don't know if this is official canon but that was the day the Myers parents died in the Car crash. Laurie theorizes Michael influenced the events of that tragedy; Her logic being that Mr. Myers was a superb driver.

How she was qualified to judge a person's driving skills at the age of four is incomprehensible. Anyway, she slips in and out of an illusory realm of trauma, which was engendered by medication administered by the Hospital.

As for the Finale, there came an incredible Shocker!!!

Ignited by airborne Chemicals and an Efflivium release triggered by the inaccurate bullet of Laurie's shot lodging into the pipes,  Loomis torches himself and Myers in a double pyre, mirroring the ancient fire sacrifices of Samhains long ago.

Myers collapses after being wrapped in a wave of orange flames.

In the final scene, One of the bodies was carted out and described as being "Burnt to a french fry." The other body was said to have been "Blown to Kingdom Come."  Furthermore, not a single body fragment was found of the second victim. It isn't established as to which one is which.


In conclusion, I'll touch on the prose of the Novelist: Etchison's adeptness with obscure metaphors and complex analogies enriches the simplicity of the film. After rewatching the film, the story seemed to have flown by without elaborating on the storyline. Because the film was released in the heart of the slasher boom of 1981, a strong emphasis was placed on the body count to satisfy newborn voracious slasher fans. Also, I hail Etchison for his innate skill of dropping in the perfect adjective when necessary.

P.S. Hands down, the highlight of the book was the fiery death of Ben Tramer. The prose in that scene was so potent, you could feel the blaze of the deadly conflagration.


Coming Soon: Halloween 3: Season of The Witch (Novelization)










Thursday, July 16, 2015

The Dark Knight (2008) Novelization Review (Ch. 2)

    The continuation of my chapter by chapter review of The Dark Knight (2008) adaptation.

Chapter 2: 'Bring me my toast and do as i say.'



    Let's explore chapter two, guys and gals...

    In it, author Dennis O'neil dedicates another chapter to events taking place prior to the start of TDK's screenplay.

    From the start, we jump into the retrospective mind of Bruce Wayne and his tormenting recollections of his conflict with Ra's Al Ghul in Batman Begins. He just can't discern whether or not his former sensei was purely wicked or if what he was doing was for the betterment of humanity. In theory, Ra's had a serious apocalypse equation complex, a la Bertrand Zobrist (Inferno Villain).
   
    Bruce even wonders if he was subconsciously imbued by Ra's to guise his identity, akin to the way Ra's rused him in the previous film. I found this to be a plausible and fascinating supposition to think about. In addition to his constant ordeal, he admits to himself that saving Ra's was a horrid choice. Of course it was a blunder, Bruce, but don't forget the Christopher Nolan rule of a NO Killing Batman. Plus, the no orphan left behind act did eventually pay off by giving us Robin.

    Inserted in the middle of this chapter, it's reported that Gothamites are confused as to what Batman's allegiance and virtues are.
   
    Some even notion Batman may have deliberately caused the train derailment, resulting in the hallucination outbreak, mass mayhem, and Ra's death. To others, they viewed Batman as a hero.

    Treating us fans to more pre-screenplay nuggets, O'neil transports us to the penthouse suite that is  featured prominently in the film, though it appears Bruce is off in a section more suitable for exercise.

   And what exercise is it that Mr. Wayne partakes in? Kata.

   Enter the staunch, sage, bluntly caring Alfred Pennyworth, butler of Batman. He's curious as to what Bruce is up to, asking him where he learned this Kata stuff. Yeah, where did you learn this strange dancelike routine, Bruce? Not from Ra's, not at all. Actually, it was a Korean master who dwelled in the changansan mountains.
   
   I have to ponder: What purpose does this Kata serve?
 
   We never see any martial arts moves performed by Nolan's Batman, especially not in that hampering, bulky Batsuit he staggers around in.

   Seriously, of all the things, he practices Kata! the only other fictional characters i've seen do Kata were Eric Foreman's Mom in That '70s show and Daniel-son in Karate Kid. Maybe his last line of defense, if all his high-tech gadgets should fail him, would be the Crane move.

Don't touch my wonton.

     I must gripe now. Don't worry, though, i'll try and keep it as civil as a Gotham City denizen. My man Alfred shows up to serve ol' brucey a dish of Toast and Coffee. Okay, Mr. O'neil, you just subjected me to a chapter filled with how much of an athletic freak Bruce is, and now you're telling me his breakfast is carbs and caffeine!?!

    No brawny specimen touches bread, looks at bread, or even trusts someone that consumes the fatty poison. Tsk-Tsk.

    On second thought, I guess he isn't as bad as circa 1939 Bruce Wayne, from his intro panel in detective comics #27, when it comes to health.
'Right, right. Crime rates are extremely high and so are we, Gordon.'


   Not long after, Alfred inquires Bruce about his intent to keep up his crime fighting crusade. Being his butler and confidant, Alfred should have some knowledge on the matter. Apparently,  he's either clueless or on the precipice of dementia.

   Bruce, gulping down his coffee and munching on his toast, expresses his case that the job in Gotham is far from done. As long as organized crime, political corruption, and police betrayal pervade Gotham, He will be there, lurking in the shadows, aiming to scoff out the evil and restore proper justice to his beloved city.

   Alfred cavils a speech about how the Batcave is inaccessible (Note: Due to the smoldering on Wayne Manor by the League of Shadows in BB) and the playboy penthouse won't be feasible to pull off. In classic Bruce Wayne form, he placidly explains his plans to refurbish a  hidden place he found, semi-calming Alfred's brood. With some good old-fashioned elbow grease and a jolly promise of a swell Christmas bonus, Bruce presumes they can transform this unsaid place into a 'bunker of sorts.'

   Yes, Bruce. I'm sure all it takes is some pinesol and an avarice need for a holiday bonus to set-up a furtive military-level base. For Gotham's sake, Batman, Alfred's in his seventies, and he just brought you bread--Senility is imminent.

Will that x-mas bonus be in my stocking, Master Wayne?

 
Coming Soon: Chapter 3: Life of a fantastical Playboy - Review